Living a Zen Life
Image from http://drdainheer.com/
International speaker, author and facilitator of advanced workshops worldwide, Dr Dain Heer’s unique and transforming points of view on change, bodies, sex, and relationship transcend everything currently being taught.
Dr Heer is the author of 8 books on the topics of embodiment, healing, money and relationships. His latest book, Being You, Changing the World, was published in June 2011. Phoebe and I were so excited to have the opportunity to interview this pioneer of the Conscious Living world. Enjoy!
Interview by Tez
Dr Dain: What does happiness mean to you?
Happiness is a sense of exuberance. It’s having a sense of the possibilities you can create, and the awareness that you can change what it is you want to change in life. It’s also a sense of exuberance at being alive, and I think the older we get, the more we seem to lose it even though we should be able to increase it.
Dr Dain: Tell me about the power of our thoughts
The difficulty is that we give far too much power to thoughts rather than our awareness; rather than our sense of what is possible. 98% of your thoughts, feelings and emotions don’t actually belong to you; you’re picking them up from the people around you like a big psychic radio receiver. Most people around us are thinking thoughts about what’s impossible, and we are picking it up, we give that power over what is possible. If, instead of relying on the heavy thoughts that determine most people’s lives we ask “who does this belong to?” when you have a heavy thought, emotion or judgement. If it lightens up, then the thought, emotion or judgement is not yours. We have power that goes well beyond thought into the awareness of what’s actually possible.
Dr Dain: When we are facing adversity, how can we overcome it?
Firstly, it starts with making the demand that you’re not going to let it get you down, and you’re not going to let it destroy you. Secondly, ask yourself a question like
“What is it going to take to change this?”
“What else is possible”
“What is right about this situation I am not getting?” or
“How does it get any better than this?”
Most of us, when we’re faced with adversity, think we’re stuck with it. Asking a question always opens a different door of possibility and the situation changes because is there any such thing as adversity, or is that how we define it and how we judge it? If we can get over our judgement that it is adversity, is it possible that it might be possibility? Also ask yourself, “what possibility is available here that I haven’t yet considered?” and it will take you out of having to fight it because it’s adversity, because that’s how the Universe shows us possibility; shows us that it’s a place where we need to change, or where there is something available that we haven’t yet chosen.
Dr Dain: What’s your life philosophy?
To me life is about having fun. That doesn’t mean lying on the beach, shirking responsibility, it means having fun even while doing those things that you’re responsible for doing. What if you created your life form the joy of it rather than the pain and suffering of it? Twelve years ago I was at the place where I was going to kill myself, because none of my life was fun or enjoyable and having come through that I realise that having a life that is fun and enjoyable is a choice, and we can create it. The tools are available.
Dr Dain: Describe what you see in the happiest people you’ve met
The happiest people I’ve met function from an allowance of everything, and allowance is where everything is just an interesting point of view. This means that no matter what comes at them, they are like a rock in a stream; all the thoughts, feelings, attitudes, emotions, judgements of everyone else come at them and they wash off them like water off a ducks back. It’s an amazing recipe for happiness. If you want to instigate that in your life, then take the energy of anything that’s still upsetting you in your life and say “Interesting point of view. I have this point of view” and you’ll notice that the energy shifts. Then say it again and notice the energy shifts again. You may have to say it anywhere between three and twenty times, but it will life the energy if you allow it, and are willing to let it change. It’s actually one of the little known keys to happiness.
Dr Dain: You had a very challenging upbringing. What did your experiences teach you about life?
What those experiences really taught me is that I’m not a quitter, I’m not a victim and I have the courage and perseverance to carry on, no matter what happens. What’s interesting is that’s directly contrary to what I thought had happened. I thought those situations had destroyed me. It took me looking from a totally different place to realise that it hadn’t destroyed me, it gave me an awareness of the strength I actually have. I think that happens for a lot of people who have experienced adversity, who have experienced abuse, and made the demand that they come out of it – they get a sense of their true strength, their true power and their true capacity.
Dr Dain: What advice can you give someone wanting to live a conscious life?
Stop judging yourself or anyone else. Make the demand that you are going to come out of judgement of you. Many people think they are judgemental, but really they are judgemental of themselves. So anytime you start going into judgment, see a Stop sign. Use the tool of “interesting point of view” (as per above) to change the upsets in your life a create a sense of ease, where you can be in any situation and realize that you don’t have to judge it, and you don’t have to judge you for choosing what you’re choosing. Start having more fun. Ask “If I were creating my life for the fun of it today, what would I choose right away?” People seem to have this idea that a conscious life is a life lived in heaviness. I know so many people who have been seeking enlightenment – the word light is right in the middle of it – and they are some of the heaviest people I have met in my life. Don’t make that mistake. This should be about the joy of it and the possibilities you can create, not the heaviness and the rightness and the judgement you can perpetrate on yourself and other people.
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